Becoming: my journey to art

As many of you know, if you've been following along my journey, creating art has been a healing revolution in my life.


Years spent in the ongoing throes of infertility had left me feeling broken and less.

It felt as if the strong negative emotions creeping in were slowly changing my identity.
Bitterness, anger, pain, heartbreak, helplessness, fear, frustration, anxiety, depression and more...a cocktail of darkness loomed over me.
It was exhausting.
And perpetual.

Early in 2014 I experienced one of the biggest shifts in thinking. A brand new idea to me.
Learning that I could give myself permission.


Permission to be what I had a sneaking suspicion I had been created to do all along.
​

Up until that point, I actively cultivated "becoming the best version of me." (I even wrote a song about it) but in some ways I was still holding back.
The dark cloud loomed and I seemed to be in battle... a constant struggle. It was so hard to better myself while trying to cope with our infertility journey.


At some point, anxiety became a leading role in my life, depression took center stage- yet all the while I was making strides in self care, gratitude, kindness and more... Yet, it wasn't until this permission slip to my soul unlocked a new identity that I truly began to part the clouds of darkness and embrace my journey--- in other words---HEAL.

I gave myself permission to be me.
It looked something like this:

"dearest self, you have permission to be who God created you to be. Stop selling yourself short--- as 'just a creative.' You are so much more than JUST creative.
And dear, your broken heart... it is part of you, it is intertwined in the very fabric of who you are... but you are so much more.
Stop working so hard and be.
You ARE an artist! Create!
Feel! Breathe! And
share.
Take this messy, complicated, long season of waiting and use it.

And one more thing... it is so sweet that you desire to be the best version of yourself, but YOU are great
and
opening your heart to the authentic you--- embracing your art, your journey, your pain, your longing, your truth...
well dear, that IS the best version of yourself.

Yes! You will always be unfolding, becoming but know that you are already here... and
​YOU ARE ENOUGH"

Go ahead and read that last bit of it again.


"You are Enough"

Wow. Making a declaration to yourself, giving permission on this level. It does something to you. A great and mighty shift has occurred, and I can never go back.

I am an artist.
I write.
I sing.
I paint.
I hug.
I listen.
I capture moments.
I encourage others.
I love people.
I see.
I become.
I unfold.

&
everyday I add a small portion,
curating
what will be considered
my masterpiece...




​My life.
​

Reader,
What is it that you need to give yourself permission to be?
When will you decide to love who you are?
To proclaim that YOU are in fact ENOUGH?

We need to shift the way we think.

Because we are all creative---
let's stop thinking of ourselves as
groups of humans who are "just creative"
and other groups who are "Not creative"
&
still others who are either "super creative" or those who think they have "zero capacity for creativity."

We are human... it is in our nature to create---
we were designed that way!

So maybe you wont be a painter, or a photographer, or a novelist, or a poet, or a musician, or a sculptor...
but
buried deep inside your soul ...
is a masterpiece...that only you can bring fourth

It is your life.

Photos taken by Jaci Musec
Scenes provided by the great creator.